Random!

Amazingly I have had nothing new to vent about!! Well I guess I did but somehow through the grace of God the problems I was having 2 weeks ago have been solved! It's amazing how gracefully God can work if you just let him. Once we as humans get out of the way of things in life & let God take care of them, they will always work out! Given it may not always be the outcome that we want but we can find peace with any outcome as long as you let yourself. The other day I got a bit of a rude awakening from a caring friend(who see's right through me). He pointed out a few of my character defects! He told me how I expect instant happiness. That I think things just happen over night and the truth is things don't happen over night. Happiness comes in time! It's progress & not perfection. For so long I've been telling everyone that I'm happy but really I was only telling them what they wanted to hear. I'm not one to show my emotions, anger or hurt I carry on the inside! However in the last 2 weeks I have grown more than I have in the last 6 "struggling" months! But he warned me not to set my "happiness" expectations too high yet as I still have to walk through many of my life struggles that I've been hiding from. He reminded me that beauty comes from the inside. When people see a strong man or woman who can stand on their own two feet, be secure & love themselves is more attractive than ANY outer beauty could ever be! He is absolutely right. I could fool anyone on my outside but if they could only see the "ugliness" that I hold inside they might find me insane! Ha ha!! However I am working through that ugliness! I want to live happy, joyous & free! I am willing to give my life over to the care of God & let him walk me through anything in life. I'm beginning to LOVE myself for the first time in my life & there is nothing or no one that will ever take my love for myself away from me EVER again!!