Choices

We all make choices in our life that we are not proud of and hopefully for most of us we make ones that we can be proud of. I’ve been trying to find the ones that I am proud of however it seems my bad choices are outweighing my good ones. And not only do I continue to recognize this but I continue the same behavior! I’ve made some LIFE changing choices lately that have been a gift however how is it that in all this greatness I can still do things that cause myself guilt and shame? It’s almost as if I enjoy the feelings of guilt and shame! But let’s be honest for just a second here, I DON’T ENJOY THESE FEELINGS ONE BIT. So again, why do I continue to make compulsive decisions that I regret? I need to learn to slow down. Take a look at situations before acting compulsively for instant gratification. Instant gratification is one of my biggest character defects. The gratification might come instantly but it is short lived and the regrets last a lifetime. I no longer want to live my life with more regrets than rewards! I know life can seem so unfair but truly it’s not life that is unfair, it is us as human beings that make our own lives unfair. Of course there are things in life that we can’t control like terminal illness, disaster, etc.; however we can control how we handle these situations! Taking a step back & deciding how to react before reacting is the common denominator to how the situation will turn out. It’s up to us to let a situation be a good one or a bad one.

Another thing that I’ve been thinking about is how us as mortal beings set our expectations way too high, always expecting something in return for everything we do in life only to be let down. I have found this defect in my own life that has been hindering me for years. I’ve been expecting people to act how I want them to instead of accepting them for who they are. I can’t expect the world to conform to my expectations or I will only be LET down again and again. Yes, I want the world and some people under my control but the harsh reality is only I can control myself. Only I can stop expecting people to give me everything that I want from them. If I can stop setting my expectations too high then I can stop thinking that people are out to hurt me and I can stop being let down. I’ve had this idea in my head that people are just out to hurt me & to continuously let me down but really it has always been that thing between my ears hurting me called my mind. People aren’t out to hurt me; it’s only me hurting myself. The mind is a powerful thing that can make a mountain out of a mole hill. Well I guess that was enough rambling for today!